Big Brother

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I added something to my blog.

If you look over to the side there is a little feed box that tells me whenever someone visits my blog.  That's right.  Big Brother kicking in to track the who, what, where, when,  WHY!  Ok, maybe not all of that.  Really just the where on a basic level and when.  If you are signed in I also know the who.

This came about because I have struggled with feeling  frustrated from time to time about the whole blogging thing.  If you don't know me well, then you may not realize that I struggle a lot with low self esteem.  Yes, I know, the "queen mother of all who has it together because she has 6 kids and appears that she can do it all" struggles.  So when I think or feel like no one is even bothering to read my blog then I get frustrated, sad, lonely, unloved.  I'm always surprised though when people chime in & tell me "oh I've been reading your blog".  I'm like really?  I never knew.  People can be lacking on the comments.  Which, I understand, I can be the same way.  I've been known to read someones blog for MONTHS and never say a word.  Some might call this stalking.  I will neither deny or confirm this idea.  Anyway.....

So I've struggled with the whole why am I even blogging when no one ever appears to be reading this.  I had been deciding to suck it up and put on my big girl panties about the whole subject.  Then recently I came across a blog that had this tracker on it.  Just a few days later I saw another friend blog about getting feed back & people leaving comments.  I resonated with what she was saying so I decided to add the little tracker.  That way if someone didn't leave a comment I know they have been here.  So if you're stalking me....I WILL KNOW : )   Just kidding.  Sort of.

If you are not signed in I won't know exactly who you are.  However if it shows me that someone from Lake in the Hills was here I have a pretty good idea that Aunt June stopped by to see & read up on the zoo.  At first I was baffled when I saw that someone from Brazil was reading, but then realized it was probably my friend Kari.  That freak out was short lived.  I am wondering though, who from Arizona keeps reading.  Just wondering.  I know the point is not to pinpoint each & every person.  But I do like knowing.  I'm just nosey like that.  Unless I start to notice any freaky stalking like activity I'll just let it be and check it each time I log on.  Y'all can keep stalking, as long as it's in a good way.

I sort of equate this to someone driving by my house and although they don't have time to stop & visit they honk and give a wave of the hand.  When I check in I give my little wave back and say "heyyyyy".  It's the little things that make me feel loved.  I'm not hard to please.  I do still like comments or conversation on my posts.  Talk away.  Really.  If you know me you know how much I enjoy talk : )